Say Yes to the Dress!

Of course I chose my wedding dress months ago. I had to, considering how long they typically take to come in. I wanted to plan a wedding in six months. That's apparently "last minute" in the wedding dress industry. I'm not even kidding--most wedding books and websites recommend purchasing the gown "nine months or earlier."

As luck would have it, I received a call yesterday that my dress, ordered June 29 (just 17 days after I got engaged) had arrived! That still gives me two and a half months to get it fitted and finalized.

The road to get here was a fun one (yay, playing dress up!), but certainly not an easy path. I think I may have even dodged a train wreck along the way:

It started out with my initial dress shopping. Almost immediately after I got engaged in June I started visiting the local bridal shops I knew (Alfred Angelo and David's Bridal) to schedule an appointment for trying on dresses. After waiting five years to get engaged, you can bet I wanted to get a spot in the stores I'd longed for--as soon as possible!

The appointment woman at David's Bridal was civil, but not especially friendly--a bit of a disappointment given that one time I entered David's Bridal (before I was engaged) a cheerful blonde woman bombarding me with free coupons and catalogs. It didn't even matter that I didn't have a wedding date (or a ring).

The woman at Alfred Angelo, however, exceeded my expectations. She was sweet, pleasant, and even remembered me from when I'd gone dress shopping there for my fiance's sister's wedding. We scheduled June 27 to check out different bridal styles, me and my mom, planning to narrow our choices with more of a bridal entourage later.

As I awaited my appointment, I did research at both AA and DB. Their websites listed a multitude of dress styles, some only available online but most still available in stores. I knew the types of silhouettes I liked (ball gown, a-line) and the ones I didn't (mermaid). I filled the notebook with lists for each store: 10 at DB from the Galina Signature: Ruffled Skirt Wedding Gown with Embellished Waist to the Jewel: Satin Corset Ball Gown. 9 at AA from the Modern Vintage Satin A-Line Tea Length dress to the Disney Princess Collection Belle dress. I was prepared!

Due to stomach issues and difficulties in scheduling, I ended up having to cancel my David's Bridal appointment. But that was okay--I had tried on the Galina Signature before at my friend's "Say Yes to the Dress" party when she was planning her own wedding (as a customer and a bride, the staff fulfilled her request to let me try on a gown that day too). And I was especially interested in Alfred Angelo dresses since my fiance's sister ordered her own dress there.

When I arrived at my appointment, the same sweet and pleasant attendant helped me in and out of NINE different wedding gowns with patience and quiet cheerfulness that made me feel like she was really rooting for me, like an old friend. She appreciated that I'd brought a list in advance so she knew what type of styles to have me try on. Not everything on the list was in store, but there was enough to give me a good idea of what was out there--from white to gold, from ball gown to even a mermaid I tried on just to see how it looked. But ultimately, I had narrowed my options down to two choices that were the closest to what I had in mind. A ruffly gold leaf style, and the Disney Princess Belle gown.

As you can probably tell from this blog, I have a hard time making decisions. But narrowing down from nine to two was pretty good for me. While my AA attendant stressed that I should probably make a choice soon to give enough time for the shipment to come in (given my "last-minute" wedding date and all), she didn't rush or push me too much, and we ultimately decided to schedule a second appointment that Saturday (in four days) to try on the final two in front of my maid of honor, future mother-in-law, and future sister-in-law, before making a decision. It would be a fun little get-together and would give me at least a little time to think on it.

Fast forward two days later--I'm working an evening shift on June 29 and get a strange call from the attendant that I can't answer since I'm at work. Her voicemail said shipping dates had suddenly changed on them, and that now instead of waiting until my Saturday appointment, TODAY was the last day I could order an Alfred Angelo dress if I wanted it to arrive in time. Oh, and I had to pay the full deposit. The poor attendant no longer sounded cheerful, but a little flustered (panicked) as she explained that they were calling all their brides as fast as possible, and hoped I could make it to the store before they closed (even though I still hadn't made a final decision or shown the dress to anyone else). And I was at work.

I don't blame the attendant. It really sounded like the company had thrown this at them out of left field, and all the store employees were scrambling to help their customers without really knowing what was going on. But I knew I didn't want to rush to Alfred Angelo after my evening shift not knowing which dress I was going to buy or if I even had the money to buy it or if I would even make it there in time.

For a few days I had been thinking about checking out one other bridal shop, BridalXOXO. The seamstress there, Anna, was from Italy and made beautiful dresses too, according to my fiance's sister, mom, and aunt. It turned out that while his sister bought her dress from Alfred Angelo, it was tailored by Anna who recommended they come to her for dresses too. They highly recommended her, so I did want to check it out, even if I was leaning toward a Disney dress.

When I told my mom about what happened with Alfred Angelo and how I wasn't ready to make a decision, she agreed to meet me at BridalXOXO after work--if I headed straight there I could make it before they closed. Then at least I could see what their styles were like, and have a backup plan if AA didn't work out.

My mom arrived at the shop before I did and was enamored with Anna and her husband, who were willing to keep the shop open until I arrived, even if it was a bit late for them. When I arrived, they ushered me inside...and straight into a wedding dress. One. Two. Three.

All the dresses were beautiful, and very similar to the princess-y style I liked, though still not quite perfect. What I really wanted was almost a combo of the first two dresses, which Anna said she could do, but it would be pricey to take apart two dresses and construct a new one. And it would be a while before I could try it on and determine if I actually liked how they looked together. Then I tried on the third. It had the shape I loved, a perfect beaded bodice, and the fabric was so light and smooth--not as stiff as the AA princess dresses. It swished when I walked. It looked flattering on me, even though it was a size 14 clipped in the back to fit a size 2. Anna even brought out a tiara to complete the look.

I stared at myself in the mirror trying to decide. Should I take the leap? The dress was beautiful, but I knew once I made the decision I couldn't go back (or at least, it would be harder to).

I waited. I thought. I stared at the mirror. I stared at the pictures my mom took on my phone. No one was forcing me to make a decision that day--but they still stressed the need to order as soon as possible. Anna gave my mom and I a moment alone to think and discuss, but said that she could tell by the way I was petting the soft skirt that I wanted it.

"All right," I said at last. "Let's do it."

My mom offered to pay for the gown, which was an amazing help, but I felt bad that we left the store with me more uneasy than overjoyed. Shouldn't I be ecstatic and grateful and relieved? Yes, I had a dress, and they assured me it would arrive in time. But I had made a split second decision--the kind of decision I hadn't wanted to make at Alfred Angelo. What if I found a dress later that I wanted more? What if the dress arrived looking too different from the one I tried on? What if it wasn't the right shade or the right amount of ruffle or the right amount of poof? What if I really wanted one of the Alfred Angelo dresses after all? I overthought everything in those few moments outside the shop. Yes, I liked the dress. A lot. Maybe even loved it--but I had only known it for a few minutes. Could it possibly fulfill/represent everything I needed it to fulfill/represent, or was I letting my mom spend too much on a dress I would only wear once?

Again, I'm terrible at decisions. For this very reason. I don't want to end up making a "wrong" choice and having to live with regret.

However, decisions don't always (and hopefully don't usually) end in regret. Some decisions are the absolute right choice at the right time. Some things happen for a reason, I really believe. Some things are just meant to be.

I would later learn that Alfred Angelo had filed for Bankruptcy--likely the reason their employees were getting such rushed and confusing information. Also, unfortunately, leaving so many AA brides with little chance of actually receiving the dress of their dreams or their money back.

I could have been one of those brides. I could have let my mom spend money she would never see again. I could have missed the absolute drop deadline of when to order a bridal gown thinking my dress was safely on its way only to learn that it would never arrive. I couldn't have had a Disney dress if I wanted it. And truthfully, after trying on the last dress in Anna's shop--feeling the fabric, showing the photo to my coworkers and hearing them gush about how perfect it was for me--I didn't really want a Disney dress. I wanted my dress.

While I won't share full photos here on the off chance my fiance happens to find them before the wedding (he is under strict orders not to see or hear about the dress until I am walking down the aisle), I can say that I can't wait to show it off to all my guests.

In the meantime, I'm pleased to hear that at least two of my bridesmaid dresses have arrived, and they look gorgeous! Things are moving forward. This "last minute" wedding might actually be possible. Two and a half months to go!